saturday . . .

The past 2 weeks we planted seeds . . .

we made pizza bread . . .

we spent time downtown with cousins & Aunties . . .

we enjoyed time with cousin Matthew . . .

we played with friends at the zoo . . .

we celebrated AK's birthday . . .

we had fun at Bay Day . . .

we worked on REALLY organizing the scrap room - almost done - here's a sneak peek at my ridiculous ribbon collection - sinful really . . .

we spent the 15th celebrating me turning 33 - another year older (excuse the horrible pic) :)

In my recent blog surfing, I came across this blog post excerpt from Stacey Hansen's site . . .

"Anticipation is one of those things that can be the best thing in the world or the thing that just makes you crazy. It can cause those little butterflies to flutter around in your stomach like nothing else. Especially when you are waiting on a miracle. A job, a baby, an answer. Time passes differently when you are waiting on something. So if today you are waiting, anticipating, holding out for an answer....be encouraged. Miracles happen. They are not planned, constructed, or to be manipulated. That would deny it being a miracle at all. Expect a miracle. It may not look all like you wanted it too or how you thought it would look when it gets there. But it will be a miracle indeed."

It is interesting, this quote. As many of you know, we lost our 2nd second just shy of 2 years ago when I was 24 weeks pregnant. It was . . . well just too impossible to put into words how difficult, how painful. Somehow, we made it through - only to finally decide to start trying again this past December & miscarry twice. The most recent miscarriage just barely 6 weeks ago. I have been so confused why all this would happen - why not just not get pregnant. People try & try & just don't conceive, but to conceive & lose your child no matter if it is 4 weeks, 5 weeks, 24 weeks . . . well it just makes you wonder, why would you have gotten pregnant only to then lose the baby . . . And then two weeks ago we discovered this . . .

we weren't trying to get pregnant - in fact I was just about to go back on the pill - just this week it has really registered in my mind that I am pregnant. We have been to the doctor's and she feels VERY confident all is well. My HCG levels are totally normal & increasing properly (they were not with the last 2 miscarriages). I will be 6 weeks next Tuesday & we will be going in to see if we can hear the heartbeat. I know that there is no guarantee this will be a successful pregnancy - I have already experienced the "non-successful" pregnancy & I certainly know that it is possible it could end up being the reality here. I like the part of the post above that says "It may not look all like you wanted it too or how you thought it would look when it gets there. But it will be a miracle indeed." To me, I thought maybe this meant that amidst this very difficult journey of the past 2 years, a journey that definitely never "looked" like one would want a journey of this nature to "look" - maybe, just maybe, there is a miracle waiting here for us at the end of it all :)

ttyl - julie :)