saturday . . .

The Road of Life

Another year is coming to an end

I can feel her tug at my calendar;

I can sense her insistent movement.

I can hear her call to cross over.

Outside my window the trees are empty

and the air has the ripeness of snowfall.

I cast an inward glance to the past

and feel the deep desire to catch its glow.

Something in me wants to hold on,

to gather all the good things close to me.

A part of me that yearns for security

keeps encouraging me to grasp it all.

Then a tiny thimble-full of light

moves its way through my insecurity;

it weaves a thread of courage,

sending sparks into the dark.

Up and up it rises through my spirit

until it meets my controlling grip.

The firefly flickers of God's grace

are enough to embrace the unknown.

A surge of powerful surrender

takes over all my looking back,

and ever so gently and hopefully

I risk the road of another new year.

-Joyce Rupp-

When I was in college, my mother & I used to send each other poems in the mail. It was this fun exchange of powerful words we shared over those 4 years . . . as an adult, the poems came less often to me - probably because we live in the same city & see each other every day. This particular poem was from a few years ago - I've kept it tucked away in a drawer . . . the perfect words for an uncertain time, a time for change, a time for starting again, a new year . . . today I feel blessed but scared . . . wondering how my life will change in these next few weeks, months, years . . . I am embarking on motherhood again . . . a journey I didn't think would repeat itself . . . I am excited & nervous . . . hoping I am strong enough, loving enough . . . hoping I can once again find the balance in life that we all seek when a major change occurs . . . hoping to be true to this little one, my family, my friends, and myself.

Wishing you all a wonderful New Year - may 2011 be a blessed one for each & every one of you :)