saturday . . .


The Road of Life

Another year is coming to an end
I can feel her tug at my calendar;
I can sense her insistent movement.
I can hear her call to cross over.

Outside my window the trees are empty
and the air has the ripeness of snowfall.
I cast an inward glance to the past
and feel the deep desire to catch its glow.

Something in me wants to hold on,
to gather all the good things close to me.
A part of me that yearns for security
keeps encouraging me to grasp it all.

Then a tiny thimble-full of light
moves its way through my insecurity;
it weaves a thread of courage,
sending sparks into the dark.
Up and up it rises through my spirit
until it meets my controlling grip.

The firefly flickers of God's grace
are enough to embrace the unknown.
A surge of powerful surrender
takes over all my looking back,
and ever so gently and hopefully
I risk the road of another new year.

-Joyce Rupp-

When I was in college, my mother & I used to send each other poems in the mail. It was this fun exchange of powerful words we shared over those 4 years . . . as an adult, the poems came less often to me - probably because we live in the same city & see each other every day. This particular poem was from a few years ago - I've kept it tucked away in a drawer . . . the perfect words for an uncertain time, a time for change, a time for starting again, a new year . . . today I feel blessed but scared . . . wondering how my life will change in these next few weeks, months, years . . . I am embarking on motherhood again . . . a journey I didn't think would repeat itself . . . I am excited & nervous . . . hoping I am strong enough, loving enough . . . hoping I can once again find the balance in life that we all seek when a major change occurs . . . hoping to be true to this little one, my family, my friends, and myself.

Wishing you all a wonderful New Year - may 2011 be a blessed one for each & every one of you :)


  1. Wishing you a wonderful new year with your new expanded family!! You have so much excitement to look forward to with bringing a new little one home soon. It will be so amazing to watch Ryan being a big brother! :)

  2. happy new year and lots of creative ideas!

  3. Happy New Year to you and yours Julie. I just know your new journey will be filled with an abundance of blessings.

  4. Oh Julie, you are strong!! You wouldn't have made it through all you have if not. You are very loving. I can see it in your photos. You will find balance. It is a little tricky in the beginning when these babies first come home. But you will get there, get into a routine. It will be a great journey!! Nicholas is so loved already!! And we all know Ryan is!! I can't wait to see your new little bundle!! Hugs!!!

  5. What a beautiful post Julie. I'm sure you'll soon realize that you're so much stronger than you think you are. You've had a tough road leading up to this little one coming into your lives, and once he's here, it'll all be so worth it. :) I'm so excited for you!!
    - April

  6. Awe, what a neat thing between you and your mom. Wishing you a blessed year of new beginnings! You will continue to be a huge creative inspiration to me!

  7. I first joined your blog for your amazing and inspiring scrapbook layouts but then your blogs began to touch my heart... I too have endured the heartache of miscarriages but have been blessed with a gorgeous little boy born 11 weeks ago! Thankyou for letting me share your journey and I can't wait to see the pics of your new arrival - Good luck!!! Natasha xxx

  8. What a beautifully appropriate poem and sentiment. Thank you for sharing. Wishing you strength and sincerest good luck!!

  9. Hi Julie! So glad to hear you are doing well. Good luck to you on the arrival of your new little bundle of joy!

    I also wanted to get your permission to use one of your sketches for our sketch-a-thon on Scrap Friendzy. I know that you let us use some last year when we did this, but I wanted to check with you first. You can email me your reply at telahwrenn at yahoo dot com. Thanks!

  10. Great poem! Happy New Year to you as well Julie ... and you will be the best! :)

  11. Julie, Although I am not usually able to comment (doesn't work from my cellphone) I have been following your blog and story and have to say you and your family have been in my prayers along the way during all the hard times! I have to say I am very happy for you and your new addition. I had my boys 6 years apart and I totally understand the anticipation you feel. I woke up one day going OMG what are we doing? LOL..but let me assure you it comes back so easily and the older sibling is such a tremendous help. God Bless You and Your Family...

    Michelle Weatherly a former 52 weeks member.